I have a love/hate relationship with my life right now.
Melodramatic? Probably.
But hey, I'm twenty-two, and according to T.Swift, it's also totally acceptable.
( lest us throw our hands up // dance in rejoice )
If you can't relate to my following babble, my apologies, but I'd like to believe that you may just happen to find something useful out of the following words, anyways.
For those who can
1) My sympathies
2) Consider the following as an attempt to ease your (possibly) melodramatic soul, as well
So, Let's Begin.
Not to jump the gun on conversation, or debate, but I think I have an answer to the question:Is it actually possible to feel happy, free, confused & lonely at the exact same time?
And that answer is a plain and simple, yes.
Now let me explain why I think so.
We very recently closed an important chapter in our lives, titled "College."
The decision to pack up four year's worth of experiences, memories and relationships, in the very suitcases we walked out the door of our first 'grown-up' homes with, was not our own.
And we're feeling a little bitter about it.
We involuntarily put an end to one era, and so began a new one.
One where the stuff being thrown at us started exposing emotions we didn't even know we had.
And just like that, life started getting sporadic.
More stuff started happening, but this time the kind that changed everything.
Questions were thrown at us.
The same, monotonous kind that we would rather just not have to worry about answering.
(Partially because we hate small talk conversations, but mostly because we don't even have an answer to them in the first place.)
What jobs have you applied for?
Where do you see yourself living?
Are you dating? (My personal favorite)
What are your financial plans for those student loan bills comin' up darlin'?
It wasn't really out of "nowhere" that this all happened.
We knew there would come a day when it was no longer "socially" acceptable to pull half (or even a quarter) of the stuff we did during our glorious undergrad years.
Which includes making excuses in times like this.
And that just sucks.
But you know something that I've realized from it all?
We're in this together.
It doesn't matter if we were fortunate enough to walk out of college into a full-time position in the field of our dreams, or stare into the eyes of 2-5-10+ more years of schooling, or even move back home to save some money and figure out what exactly it is we want to do with our lives.
When it comes down to it, we all came from the same place.
And who is better to understand what you're feeling, than the person next to you who went through the exact same thing?
Try that for comfort.
Since I've graduated, I can't tell you how many things I've learned about myself and the immediate, fast-paced world around me. It's given me a chance to reflect on all of those crazy souls that I've had the pleasure of meeting throughout the past four years alone. The kind of people that talk you into "just one more" Whiskey Sour during Finn's Karaoke Wednesday, and drag you to Nadine's the following morning to down the best breakfast bowl - called "The Mixed Grill" - that you could ever possibly dream of. And, of course, the gems in life that let you borrow their flash drive for the final Photography assignment because yours didn't have enough storage space. And, lastly, who could forget the roommate- turned-best friend from sophomore year that just so happen to own the assigned seat next to you at college graduation.
Realize that all of these good and bad times you've experienced in your life are in LARGE part because you experienced them with (and many times because) of those others.
Those others that are just as scared, intimidated, and uncertain about their lives right now, as you are.
It may seem like just an age, but it's so much more than that.
It's the time in life when you're forced into making very difficult decisions.
When you're forced to say some really sappy goodbyes, and close some really gigantic doors (or chapters.)
But, in the process, please don't make the mistake of confusing closing for locking.
Life may be changing - we may be changing - but hey, that's what makes it so T. Swift magical right?
Do yourself a favor and consider this time a rare opportunity.
Breathe. Feel alive again in a way that you haven't for quite some time. Alive in the sense that you feel confused, anxious, but excited and happy about it.
Let this brief period of loneliness drive you to be motived.
Seek to learn something that a textbook didn't teach you and professor couldn't lecture about.
Take this time, above all, to do you,
during this once in a lifetime age of twenty-two.
(cause it only happens once.)
